四月的蜘蛛网

这次一篇写了两个对我非常重要的人，通常我会各自写给她们，但在同一周先后见到她们俩，效用是递进式的，所以不想分开两篇写了，见谅。

前一周赶回深圳，为了见一见567和她的陈叔叔。只是下午茶很短暂的相处，听他们简要地讲俩人波动相同却并未相交的生命轨迹：在同一个幼儿园，同一个小学，后来举家搬到了新一个城市竟又在同一个中学；然而这么多年，从未结识，那些偷看小姑娘、狡猾的恶作剧、出风头的岁月竟然一直没缘分，直到如今在不同的国家、学着同一门并不那么多人研究的学问，被共同的朋友随口一句，相识；然后便投缘得面还没见的时候就定了终身，然后见了面如胶似漆地，让旁人狂汗。这真是可以拍成电影的爱情的奇迹。那首启发了《红》以及《向左走向右走》的诗这样写，“他们会感到诧异，倘若得知/缘分已玩弄他们/多年。” 呵呵，谢谢这样的奇迹。

跟他们告别的时候，说起未来可能会见面的时机，好像居然真的并不是那么多了。曾经从早起到睡去都厮混在一起的室友+同桌+密友，哪怕早已生活在不同的城市甚至国家，但却是直到这次，才突然清楚地看见了她真的是和另一个人的生活轨迹合二为一，我一时间涌出了浓烈复杂的悲伤和欣喜。

想起今年看完我们里程碑式的suede演唱会，再次一起朝夕相处，我却又莫名其妙地跟她闹脾气，而且还没好意思当面说对不起，真是又生气又难受。亲爱的，对不起。如今我还没法用第二人称写封信给你，你知道，关于绝大部分事情的细节我从来记不清，所以只是稍微搜索一下关于你的回忆，这个性能不佳的搜索引擎就已经被无边无际的感受和情绪淹没得窒息。但我会尽力完成一次这浩大的动感情工程的，留到明年二月吧——幸好你们说不会搞婚礼，不然我不知道会哭成什么样。请原谅我这斗争矛盾的怪脾气。

好了，不能继续了。

同一周的晚些时候，我又见了青。他们夫妇俩带儿子来香港迪士尼，在香港也是我下班后极其短暂地相聚。很庆幸我们每年都能见上一面，而今年这次是我头一次没有带着伤感见面，头一次没有把“过去”包成胶囊喂给“现在”，我逗着儿子看着儿子，好心疼好开心。我想起那年她结婚时我还激烈地反对，如今也说不清立场是什么了。

又后来，连招呼都没互相打，你们就走了，我也回到日常的工作。直到你在他的微博上留言。直到他读给我听，让我在下班的路上，不是像我告诉你的那样眼泪盈眶，而是不由自主地泪流满面。你爱我，了解我，心疼我，并且从不相信我的逞强。谢谢你，用日子证明了我的错。

Love at First Sight

They're both convinced
that a sudden passion joined them.
Such certainty is beautiful,
but uncertainty is more beautiful still.

Since they'd never met before, they're sure
that there'd been nothing between them.
But what's the word from the streets, staircases, hallways -
perhaps they've passed by each other a million times?

I want to ask them
if they don't remember -
a moment face to face
in some revolving door?
perhaps a "sorry" muttered in a crowd?
a curt "wrong number" caught in the receiver?
but I know the answer.
No, they don''t remember.

They'd be amazed to hear
that Chance has been toying with them
now for years.

Not quite ready yet
to become their Destiny,
it pushed them close, drove them apart,
it barred their path,
stifling a laugh,
and then leaped aside.

There were signs and signals,
even if they couldn't read them yet.
Perhaps three years ago
or just last Tuesday
a certain leaf fluttered
from one shoulder to another?
Something was dropped and then picked up.
Who knows, maybe the ball that vanished
into childhood's thicket?

There were doorknobs and doorbells
where one touch had covered another
beforehand.
Suitcases checked and standing side by side.
One night, perhaps, the same dream,
grown hazy by morning.

Every beginning
is only a sequel, after all,
and the book of events
is always open halfway through.

等了11年的演唱会，等的既是你们也是我们。